Clean Air is Satan’s Work—Screw the EPA and Their Job-Killing Smog Standards

In the 2000 presidential campaign Ralph Nader said, "The only difference between Bush and Gore is the velocity with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock at the door."

Substituting George Bush with the current Republican imbeciles in Congress, and Al Gore with Barrack Obama and his impotent Democratic Congressional zombies, nothing much has changed since 2000, except perhaps the increase in velocity in which both parties rapidly prostrate themselves before their corporate deities.

Now in 2011, Corporate Jesus has descended to planet D.C. yet again knocking on Congress’s door and you’ll never guess what the All Mighty exhorted to Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber this time around.

As usual he had a myriad of “dogmatic goodies,” but one of his more choice homilies this time around was his insistence that President Obama halt the EPA smog standards.  

Why would Corporate Jesus demand such a thing?

Because clean air kills jobs dummy! 

(I know what you’re thinking.)

“This makes perfect sense!  Why didn’t I think of this?”

The nexus is rather obvious if you just take the time to think about it.  Congressional Republicans and Democrats were commanded by Corporate Jesus to look out for the little man. Corporations like General Electric, for example, are not hiring Americans despite recording record profits because the air is just too damn clean.  (Okay, so it’s not really clean, but the prospect of making the air less polluted is more than the Church of Corporate America can bear to handle if it is expected to create jobs—they may be creationists, but they can’t do it without brown air.) 

Still not convinced?  (I’ll be honest with you, I feel a touch annoyed that I have to dumb this down for you, but alas this is the cross I must bear to educate the non-believers.)

Let me break it down for you by quoting a great American…

"This effective ban or restriction on construction and industrial growth for much of America is possibly the most harmful of all the currently anticipated Obama Administration regulations," says Republican Majority Leader Eric Cantor.  

And who on earth wouldn’t trust the Apostle Eric Cantor? 

After all, an “overly regulated” government could potentially one day prevent Cantor from doing something as innocuous as shorting American Treasury bonds while voting to send the country into default by voting against raising the debt ceiling and praying for a credit downgrade.  (He actually did this by the way.)  This is the type of regulatory slippery slope that could potentially lead to clean air and an avalanche of unemployment, not to mention screwing up the Apostle Cantor’s investment portfolio by preventing him from betting against America.

I want to be fair though, it’s not as though there aren’t uninterested trustworthy folks out there that are providing their two-cents to help our stalwart progressive president arrive at a conscientious decision on this “job creation” measure.  The highly sanctimonious environmentalist and “job creationist” Jack Gerard, the President of the American Petroleum Institute, offered this decree in support: “The President’s decision is good news for the economy and Americans looking for work. EPA’s proposal would have prevented the very job creation that President Obama has identified as his top priority.” 

See?  The only thing standing between you and a new job is clean air.  Men like Cantor and Gerard are practically saints and their piety can be described as nothing less than genuine.  

Just look at the evidence.

Why have we lost 3,000,000 manufacturing jobs since 1998?  Clean air. 

Goldman Sachs estimated that over the past few years between 400,000 and 600,000 professional services and information sector jobs moved overseas.  Why?  Clean air. 

Bank of America just laid off 3,500 people this month and 10,000 for the year.  Why?  Clean air.  

Over 500,000 government jobs have been lost since 2008.  Why?  Clean air.

Why did General Electric, a company that made $14 billion in profits last year while paying no income tax ship 25,000 jobs overseas?  Because American air is too damn clean and devil-worshippers at the EPA are intent on making it even cleaner by implementing satanic smog standards! 

Incidentally, GE should know about creating American jobs because President Obama appointed GE Chairman and CEO Jeffrey Immelt as America’s Job Creation Czar—this is the CEO of one of America’s largest companies and charged by the government to help you find jobs (despite shipping  thousands of them to China and India).  He’s a damn expert in helping you get work (if you don’t mind commuting to China and India).  It would be completely irresponsible for you not to trust him, and though he’s not technically a saint yet, his beatification and canonization are a mere formality.  

I ask one thing of you my fellow Americans—please do your part in helping our country get out of its jobless rut and diligently partake in the debauchery of our ridiculously clean air so that we can get back on our feet.  Pay your tithe to the Corporate Church.   Do you own an SUV that gets 10 miles a gallon you selfish heathens?  Do you drive in lieu of walking like Jesus did in Nazareth back in the day?  Do you point aerosol cans skywards two at a time and spray their contents into the atmosphere yelling, “Screw you, you job-sucking adiamorphic sky!?”

What are you selfish clean air-breathing infidels doing to create jobs?  Corporate Jesus, along with his Republican and Democratic disciples are counting on you.  Stop sitting there and whining about your lack of employment as you breathe in only marginally polluted air like a bunch of ungrateful, crybaby, atheistic socialists.

God helps those who help themselves (and breathe brown air).

For a more in depth analysis on the important issue of dirty air and job creation please enjoy the ZPP broadcast featured in the link below.  Before you know it you will be wearing a gas mask and enjoying your non-union job that offers you no pension, healthcare, or paid vacation—just as Corporate Jesus intended:

Listen to internet radio with cynicalrevolt on Blog Talk Radio

ZPP Episode 6: Failing to address the issue of campaign finance reform has crippled our democracy.

How do you lose your individual voice in a democracy?  Your vote gets muted by hundreds of millions in corporate dollars in a political process where your vote counts far less than those dollars.  It's why a corporation in Texas can have a far bigger say in what happens in a New York election than a registered voter in New York.

The Supreme Court, courtesy of Citizens United vs. FEC has ensured a corporation's (and non-constituent's) First Amendment "rights" while muting the First Amendment rights of the individual voter and constituent.

The President of the United States has to raise a staggering $1 billion to get elected to a job that pays him $400,000 a year.  You don't think he's going to be owing a few corporations some favors?  Do you honestly believe your voice amounts to a hill of beans in comparison to corporate dollars?

In this broadcast, Clint Hulsey interviews Dave Levinthal from Opensecrets.org in the opening 20 minutes and reveals the hidden underbelly of campaign financing.  In the remainder of the broadcast, Clint and Gus Bridi discuss the ramifications of campaign financing and its impact on a vast array of issues effecting American politics today.

Listen to internet radio with cynicalrevolt on Blog Talk Radio

The New American Revolution Has Begun! (Sort of) Care to Join Me?

No, I didn’t burn myself alive in the middle of my town square or fire a shot that was heard around the world, but this July 4^th I did do something.  

I had it up to my ears sitting around watching this country imploding around me and doing nothing about it but complaining. (Insert Howard Beale "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" rant here.)  

I was tired of feeling helpless and powerless.  I was tired of waiting for someone else to do something.  I was tired of battling the establishment with my one lousy vote that meant nothing in a two-party system beholden exclusively to the very establishment that was screwing me.  I was tired of observing politicians from both sides of the aisle routinely abandoning their constituents and selling their souls to political action committees and lobbyists.  

I had long come to the realization Republicans and Democrats were nothing but two sides of the same establishment coin with their sole function being the creation of an illusion of choice where none existed.  They had stopped listening to you and me.  

I wanted to us be heard.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know I drafted a revised Declaration of Independence which called for six action items designed to break our chains from the corporate oligarchy which now runs and owns this country.  I called for the People of the United States to:

1)      withdraw all their deposits from the Oligarchy’s banks,

2)      divest all their stock holdings in the Oligarchy’s corporations (particularly corporations in the so-called “defense” industry, financial industry, and any company that has not paid corporate income tax over the past year who has declared profits),

3)      refuse to vote for any Oligarchic candidate identifying him or herself as a Democrat or Republican on any  ballot for any political office,

4)      refuse in the future to enlist in any of the Oligarchy’s military forces,

5)      conscientiously object to any foreign deployment for those of the People who are presently enlisted in the Oligarchy’s military while continuing to defend the borders of the United States from all enemies foreign and domestic, and

6)      recognizing that the Oligarchic “justice” system refuses to prosecute its own racketeers who prolifically operate financial criminal enterprises, the People, when summoned to sit as jurors in federal or state criminal courts of the Oligarchy, refuse to convict any of their fellow People accused of acts deemed as “crimes” by the Oligarchy other than those involving violence or theft against the People.

I vowed to not only follow through on each of those action items, but to post my new Declaration of Independence at my local federal building on Independence Day, and send copies to my various elected officials.  

This July 4^th I did just that.  

I rolled out of bed, put on a pair of old sweats and a t-shirt that didn't quite match, and before the barbecue and pool party started, I drove down to my local federal building with some classic-rock station blasting on the radio, and midway through 'Pinball Wizard' I parked my car, got out, marched over to that stupid, stoic building, and posted this Declaration to it with duct-tape (that’s me and my bed-head in the picture below, which my "army of one", also known as my wife, took).  I also faxed a copy of the Declaration to my Representative, Senators, and various media outlets. 

It wasn't difficult to do, and it took all of one hour out of my day. 

Will it make a difference?  I have no idea.  

This is the age of the internet.  Things like kittens playing with strings and college girls on racist rants can go “viral.”  Perhaps this can too with your help. 

You can easily follow suit and print out the Declaration and do the same thing I did.  If “We the People” make enough noise and vow to follow through on those action items, who knows where this could lead?

I realize Che Guevara is not exactly an American icon and the Cuban Revolution is not exactly an event that is celebrated in this country, but nearly a half century ago Guevara, along with 80 or so men, set sail from Guatemala to Cuba to start a revolution.   Those men defeated Batista’s army and won.  My purpose in mentioning this is not to glorify Guevara nor to advocate for a violent American revolt, but to emphasize that far reaching change can happen when the dedicated will of a few kindle a fire in the masses.

Guevara famously said, “The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.”  I’m trying my damnedest to make that apple fall, but I can’t do it alone.

Perhaps you could lend me a hand and simply do what I did?  Again, this is the link to the revised Declaration of Independence:   Print it.  Go to your stupid, stoic federal building and post it there (posting it with duct-tape is a nice touch, but feel free to use the adhesive of your choosing--this is a democracy after all).  You can click this link to ContactingTheCongress.org to get the contact information for your district's Representative and your state's Senators.  You can also fax the Declaration to any number of media outlets.  Below are the entities with the fax numbers I sent the Declaration to:

For California's 27th Congressional District, Rep. Brad Sherman's fax is: (202) 225-5879. Sen. Barbara Boxer: (202) 224-0454. Sen. Dianne Feinstein: (202) 228-3954. NBC/MSNBC News: (212) 664-4085. CBS News: (323) 575-4536. CNN: (404) 827-1784. Fox News: (212) 301-4229. ABC News (323) 671-4261.

Follow through on the six action items I identified above.  Periodically, I will be writing articles elaborating on each one.  Here is a link to an article I wrote regarding the first action item entitled ‘The New American Revolution Must Begin in Your Mind’.

We’re not exactly storming the beaches at Normandy here.  You’re not going to be risking life and limb.  It will take one whopping hour out of your life to make a difference by non-violently and legally bucking the establishment enough to possibly substantively change things.

Help me shake this tree and make the apple fall (as you can tell from the picture, I don't exactly have the muscle to pull this off on my own).